Classycanopies

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Norman in his element, sharing his lunch with the boys!

and

Relaxing on Saturday morning

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Norman and I have received some very sad news just recently.   On 10th December 2009 he was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer and doesn't have very long left.    This came as a tremendous shock as there was no warning, it just came out of the blue.    Norman has always helped and supported me with my pram hobby and restoration work and we have met some wonderful people during our years of collecting and working with the prams.   We would just like to take this opportunity to say thank you to you all for your good wishes and support during this dreadful period.

13th January 2010

Update on Norman's condition

Norman is still fairly upbeat about the situation.  He has had lots of lovely messages and his friends and colleagues have visited him regularly to keep him informed of all the gossip from work.

He was dreadfully sick over Christmas and on 30th December he suffered a fractured rib - which is not uncommon when the cancer enters the bones - which meant he was in a great deal of pain.   It was an awful night, I had to contact Shropdoc twice during the night and the doctor came out to give Norman a painkilling injection.  Our own GP visited in the morning and gave him another injection plus some morphine patches to make sure he had cover over New Year.    The patches have been a boon but the sickness continued, even with the medication prescribed for nausea, and even when he just took sips of water.   Because of all the painkillers, Norman was in a bit of a state in the "waste" department as the medication tends to stun the bowel.     Luckily the Macmillans liaised with our doctor and they prescribed some steroids and stomach medication and this has lifted Norman considerably, he is now eating and drinking normally - and all his other bodily functions are working normally.   It's amazing just how much we take for granted when we are well, even down to the very basic functions, they make such a difference to maintaining our normality when they are working properly and we don't realise just how much until they stop working.

However, he has lost quite a bit more body fat, and is very weak but is managing to get upstairs at night and downstairs in the morning.   He was bedridden for a couple of weeks after the rib fracture but is now walking around with the aid of a walking stick and has frequent naps in his well-padded chair with Daisy, also well-padded, and keeping him company by his side!

We have an appointment with the Oncologist at Shrewsbury on Monday 18th, so hopefully he will be fit enough to travel by car - a distance of about 12 miles - to see what the doctor has to say.

2nd February 2010

We saw the Oncologist, Dr Chattajee,  today.     He outlined the pros and cons of chemotherapy, most of which were cons!    Norman had already decided not to have this treatment after seeing the effects on other members of our family over the years.    He would much rather have quality of the life which is left to him, rather than extending a miserable existence by four to six weeks.  He is very much at peace with himself at the moment, mainly because things have settled down and he isn't troubled too much by discomfort or sickness.     He is eating well so Dr Chattajee is keeping Norman on steroids for the time being, as they are suiting him,  and wants him to go for a bone scan in case radiotherapy is needed and then he will know exactly where to apply the treatment.

He also examined Norman and felt around his left rib where we thought it had broken.    Dr Chattajee said it wasn't broken, but that it was the cancer travelling along his other side from the spine and, as long as the morphine patches are covering the pain, there was no need to worry unduly.    He also said there was evidence of the tumour in his upper spinal region, and there are infected lymph nodes in his chest.      I'm really surprised Norman is so well in spite of all this news, even though his mobility is limited he is not deteriorating physically apart from losing a little weight each week.

We go out in the car most days, even if it is sleeting/raining/blowing a gale, he just likes to go to places he was in the habit of going to during his working life, so he can sit and remember.   I'm wishing the sunshine would come out and brighten up his days, and help the snowdrops and crocus to bloom which is what he is really waiting for - he was so afraid he wouldn't live to see them after his diagnosis and awful sickness period just after Christmas.

He has an appointment at the Hospice to be approved for therapy there, one day a week, which should make a pleasant change for him.  He should feel a little more confident when he starts to meet other people with similar problems and swap notes!

Thankfully, this progress means that I can do a little more work than of late, so I have tidied up my workroom which had become a dumping ground, and will get on with some prammie stuff.    Norman loved to help me to dismantle the prams ready for respraying and rechroming and is still able to de-spoke the wheels, so he feels as though he is still useful.  This is very important for him otherwise he will feel as though he won't be missed if I show him I can do it all.  It's a two-edged sword in a way, because he needs to see I won't get into difficulties otherwise he will worry that I can't cope, and yet by taking away this need for his help makes him feel useless.   But I still need his advice and help on lots of things and he certainly gives me lots of that!

23.2.2010

Norman is still having up days and down days.  Unfortunately he had a down day last Friday when Anne and Dennis came all the way from Cambridge to visit, he was unable to get out of bed because of severe pains down the outside of his right leg.   I thought perhaps a warm bath would help so I managed to get him into the bathroom, very slowly and he sat on his bathing chair and I lowered him down into the warm water.   He was looking particularly pale and exhausted and I was a bit worried about him, I have to say.    He is frightened of taking his Oromorph because he views it as means of taking away his independence, which has suddenly become very dear to him.  I can really understand this but as I explained to him, he can't weather the pain, no matter how brave he is so he must take the Oromorph.    I decided that Dr Milligan should see him before I gave him a dose of painkiller and he kindly came out at 11.30am, and decided to increase his morphine patches to 100mg to try and manage the pain, plus amitriptyline in case the pain was nerve based.

Norman then slept for most of the day, which helped with the pain but poor Anne and Dennis didn't see much of him.     Obviously the extra patch did the trick because on Sunday he was eager to come with me down to Swansea to deliver a couple of prams to Sian, even though it had been snowing.     Because it was snowing, Sian was not happy about us taking the risk and I had to agree with her.   However, by 11am Norman was itching to get into the van and go!     He checked the state of the roads on the computer, checked the weather forecast and told me to get my stuff together as we were going and not only that but he was driving!!    As I said, he has up days and down days, and this appeared to be an up day 

He managed really well, it was great to see him behind the wheel again and he was as happy as Larry, he was in charge again!

I was a bit worried about the after effects but he seemed to have got away with it.    That is, apart from a pain developing in his right groin this morning.   He was grounded in bed again this morning, unable to get out of bed without my help and not being able to stand up unaided.    Then he told me he has been suffering with it since about 4am this morning!    So out came the Oromorph and I gave him 10ml.   After about 30 mins he was able to get downstairs and has slept on the sofa all day since, but the pain has gone and now he's watching Ice Road Truckers!!

7th March 2010

The pain in the right groin has gradually worsened.   I seem to be running to keep up with it and so called in Dr Milligan again on Friday as I was not willing to increase the patches without his advice but fortunately he seemed to think I was on the right track and increased them to 200mg plus more Amitriptyline just in case it is nerve based pain.    Norman's had such a battle with it this week and hasn't been able to go out for his usual jaunt in the car, nor has he been able to go for his second visit to the Hospice for the social activities day on Friday.  He went last Friday and enjoyed meeting everyone and was surprised to be offered - and accepted! - a tot of whisky!   No holds barred there apparently!

I find my energy levels are very low at the moment which means my work is not progressing as fast as I had intended but at least I'm doing something.    I went outside yesterday and raked the gravel on the garden path and then got the paintbrush out to paint the new planters which Jimmy had made for us.   I came inside, had a cuppa and immediately fell asleep for 2 hours!    It's so frustrating when you can see things needing attention and then just fall asleep.   I have spoken to Jan, who lost her lovely Peb last year, and she says she understands perfectly, she thinks it's to do with the level of sleep we get when trying to be on duty in case we're needed - she's possibly right.

I've also been through an angry phase.   Poor Norman copped it in the neck last week when he was moaning and groaning at bedtime.  He wouldn't take any Oromorph for the pain in his leg because he thinks it is a downward spiral and doesn't want to admit defeat.   Instead of taking the painkiller he will try and weather the pain but it doesn't take any notice of him and just gets worse.   I had already been through all this with him during the previous week and he still resisted so I left him to it instead of insisting he take the medicine.    After an hour's moaning - at 1am - I rounded on him and asked if he was still in pain and if he was that it was his own fault.    Words were bandied and he ended up taking the medicine!    The next morning he took up the cudgels again so I sat and asked him if he really wanted me to nurse him or if he would prefer going into hospital, because if he preferred me to nurse him then he must do as I asked and take whatever medicine the doctor had advised and stop giving me a hard time.    He has a fear of being sent back into hospital so on this occasion I won!

All this aggravation makes everything so much worse, I am just on the verge of breaking down in front of him when he is so difficult but then I remember that Norman has always been difficult when he's ill and this is no different.

I asked him last week what could I give him as a special gift seeing as I had just sold my Bird of Paradise pram.  A holiday is out of the question so what else would he like?     He thought for a while and then said, "I'd like a big screen TV so I can watch the World Cup".    So that's what I did, went out and bought him a 42" TV and he thinks it's brilliant!   He can lie in bed at the other end of the lounge and watch TV, just like sitting in a cinema!!